Dear El Zorro,
I’m writing this anonymously because I don’t need half of Cuero knowing my business — you know how fast news travels around here. A sneeze on one side of town becomes pneumonia by the time it reaches the other.
Anyway, here’s what happened.
The other morning, I’m sitting at home enjoying my coffee when my neighbor comes barreling across the yard like he’s being chased by someone with a chain saw. And I’m thinking why is he coming to my house? I don’t need any Texas Chain saw drama! He’s yelling, waving his arms, and hollering, “HELP! HELP! I NEED YOUR HELP! CALL 911!”
Naturally, I panic. And I yell at him. What happened? You okay? Why are you running? I immediately think I need to grab my gun.
Nope, this fool about gave me a heart attack.
Turns out, his electricity got shut off because he “forgot” to pay the bill…. And now he’s standing in my yard demanding I call 9‑1‑1 because, and I quote, “This is a humanitarian crisis!”
I told him 9‑1‑1 is for emergencies, not for people who treat their bills like optional suggestions. But he insisted there had to be SOME number to call.
So, Zorro… what number do people call when life goes sideways but it’s not a police situation?
Signed,
Anonymous in Cuero
Dear Anonymous,
Amigo… you’ve just described a situation that is more common than folks admit. Every neighborhood has at least one person who thinks every inconvenience is a national disaster.
Let’s paint the picture.
The Great Cuero Utility Meltdown
Your neighbor comes sprinting across the yard like he’s reenacting a scene from a telenovela. He’s dramatic. He’s sweaty. He’s convinced the universe is personally attacking him because his electricity won’t turn on.
He wants you to call 9‑1‑1. You want to call 9‑1‑1 — but only to report him for being a pain in the you know what.
But you’re right: This is NOT a police matter. No crime. No danger. Just a man who needs a payment plan and maybe a calendar reminder.
So who DO you call?
Not the sheriff. Not the fire department. Not your cousin who “knows a guy.”
The number he needed — the number MOST people need when life gets messy but not criminal — is:
2‑1‑1
At least that’s what the folks at Golden Crescent Regional Planning Commission tell me.
What 2‑1‑1 can help with:
- Utility shut‑off assistance
- Rent help
- Food programs
- Mental health support
- Transportation
- Local shelters
- Disaster resources
- And basically anything that makes people say, “I don’t know who to call.”
It’s free. It’s confidential. It’s available 24/7 — even when your neighbor’s electricity isn’t.
Why this matters
9‑1‑1 is for emergencies. 2‑1‑1 is for everything else that feels like an emergency but won’t land anyone in the ER.
Your neighbor didn’t need law enforcement. He needed information, resources, and maybe a chill pill (lol). You handled it like a true hero, amigo. Not all emergencies require sirens. Some just require the right number.
Until next time,
El Zorro
Gobble Gobble! We can’t wait to see all you fine folks there. Let’s celebrate community, music, and the spirit of Cuero. Bring your friends, your family, and your best turkey dance moves!
